It seems that every day now that I peruse the Internet, there is a new story about the water shortages facing our country.
Being a fan of the West, I have always been interested in water and the use thereof in the development of the arid lands found there.
Ol’ Dutch even did some water rights work for the State of Kansas and so I may have a more-than-average interest in the use of water by the population.
Of course, we all know that it takes water to do just about anything — from taking a bath to growing crops — and we have seemingly overused the amount we have available at this point.
And mankind, ever the one to think he can outwit Mother Nature, builds dams and drills wells in the most arid places to cheat the gods of dryness. Finally, it appears, though, that we have hit a wall as far as the availability of that resource.
The Colorado River appears to be failing and even the huge dams that have fed water to downstream places like Las Vegas and Los Angeles are draining like one big flush of the commode of life.
Of course, there are things we can do to alleviate some of the shortages like crop changes, water-saving toilets, xeriscape lawns and drying up the irrigated city parks. But the one thing that I believe they have overlooked is what we all wanted when we were younger: showering together.
Now I am not suggesting that I want to shower with Uncle Bert, but I think if a person has a significant other that may be something that needs to be visited and studied by the government.
And Ol’ Dutch will most certainly volunteer to head up just such a study if it becomes available as well, I am just that kind of guy. Always thinking of others and willing to sacrifice for my country.
I don't know about you all, but I remember in my younger years when I did get to shower with my woman, and it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
But from what I can recall, it really works out that I ended up farthest from the spigot with a cold backside. I guess it was worth it to be able to soap up my female companion and her various fatty deposits or I wouldn't have continued.
And even though this still sounds like it might be a good idea to try again with Miss Trixie, I am not sure she would let me soap up her fatty deposits and I would be relegated to just taking a shower and being cold.
And if I did get to soap her up it's most likely I would just be helping her wash the hangy down places on her arms and not the more sexy baggage she carries up front. (Poor Miss Trixie’s eyes will someday roll out of their sockets the way she reacts to my writing.)
Having studied this to some degree, Ol’ Dutch has determined that we are probably in for a real amount of suffering from water shortages and the inevitable dehydration of an entire population as no one is going to shower together no matter how dire the global impact.
But maybe if more showers were equipped with those waterfall-type nozzles that come out of the ceiling and cover more square inches of personal skin, we could get more people to kick in and do their part. That is if the women would agree to it and we all know how that is going to work out?
Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.com.