Trout Republic-X-Large and beyond

Sometimes life overtakes us and we fail to realize how blessed we really are.

Take Trixie for instance. Here she is living the life of Riley with a handsome and captivating man every single day yet she doesn't realize it.

I mean she doesn't say anything about how lucky she is; nor, how blessed she is to be in my presence. I can tell, however, by the twinkle in her eye that she is smitten deep down. Deep, deep down.

Such is the state of denial that many people live in and it is especially true in these good old United States of America.

Ol Dutch's life often consists of long waits in parking lots while Miss Trixie peruses the aisles of the local gyp joints looking for deals. And while I have gotten in a few naps over the years, Cooper and I mostly people-watch which is about as good a comedy as you can get most days.

If you sit there long enough you will see everything from soup to nuts. On any given day this can include anything from child beatings, husband haranguing, cart mishaps, lost keys, panhandling, lost cars and last, last but not least, daily attire chosen for the trip to the store.

Before the advent of messy hair being popular, women used to show up with a head full of curlers some of which resembled quills on a porcupine. Stepping on one in the dark at home in the middle of a sojourn to the bathroom certainly reinforces that idea.

We also have websites dedicated to people in various attire or lack thereof like “the people of Wal-Mart” and others.

Now while I have yet to find some as outlandish as the ones seen on there I have witnessed people in pajamas, pervy raincoats, winter clothing in 60 degree weather, swimsuits, camouflage and everything in between soup to nuts.

I used to go with my ex-wife to a high end clothing shop which featured a leather pit group for the men folk who happened to be forced, blackmailed or kidnapped to spend their day shopping. Now that is some creative and winning marketing there folks as we don't mind going so much as we do the standing around in stores with lacy brassieres, scanty underwear, and other foundations while old sales ladies look down their noses at us.

But those stores are far and few between and so Ol’ Dutch spends his time in the truck watching the coming and goings of America.

The one thing I have noticed that America is enamored with larger and larger shirts. I remarked to Trixie that it seems that people wear them to cover up big butts as that was the theme of the day.

She immediately jumped on that as a sexist remark and I had to remind her I did not make any reference to which sex was covering up their cabooses but also noticed the other “B” was being covered with larger and larger amounts of material, as well.

Now Ol’ Dutch himself has had a growth in that area of late but so far I can get my shirts at the local Wal-Mart and not from the Colorado Tent and Awning Company.

But it does say a lot for us as a people as it appears that no one is going hungry at least and that is something to be thankful for.

And covering up those love handles is no more appreciated than after my trip to the South Texas beaches to whale watch. And that's just the people on the beaches.

There is an old adage that states “it takes one to know one” and Ol’ Dutch hates to admit it but I resemble that remark. I am trying to reduce my front but until then depend on the USA Clothing Union members to keep me decent.


Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.


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